Is borderline rage the same as splitting? I have no idea, but I’m trying to be aware of my symptoms, yet I cannot in those awful moments when it’s happening. I can go from loving my husband to wanting to divorce him in a second. I think it’s called splitting in BPD, but my emotions are filled with rage. It’s terrible behaviour because I don’t know if what I’m feeling in those moments is the truth, or just a reaction because I cannot control my emotions during the stress.
There is fuck all help with Democratic Therapeutic Community, and these personality disorder ‘experts’ do not even have the courtesy to even respond. I’ve raised a complaint with my MP and the NHS and recorded myself. Doubt nothing will get done. It’s just a waste of admin services keep going to GP, getting referred to a shite Rochdale response hub service that does not help you, and yet apparently these ‘specialist’ services are always requesting patients from their GPs, yet when they do refer them, they are denied because of a blah de blah daft excuse. Sounds cushdy, as Del Boy would say.
I know that the globalists hate all people and want to cause as much misery as possible through suicide and depopulation, but living with a debilitating mental illness every day is extremely tiring not just mentally, but physically. I guess denying people help for mental illness is one way to cause such misery in people that they end it with suicide. It’s so sad, because when I’m better I feel so guilty about asking God to strike me dead over and over, but at the time I cannot deal with the borderline rage and splitting. I just want to be a good wife and mom. I want to be bloody normal. I don’t want this overreactive emotional reaction to every type of stress.
Black and white thinking, or splitting, is fucking horrible within borderline personality disorder. I need to write about this condition more because my symptoms have worsened since I gave birth, yet there’s fuck all help available. And my husband wishes that I would have more patience with people. Impulsiveness, anger, irrational behaviour – it’s all part of living with borderline personality disorder.
If I have to raise awareness by showing how much of a shite service those of us with BPD have within the NHS, or finding it IMPOSSIBLE to access any mental health specialist services because I don’t live in a certain area, what a crock of shit excuse for refusing us help, I will do, because having to return to my GP to request a referral YET AGAIN is an absolute waste of monies. And the sad thing is that it’s just a job to them. They don’t have the acute empathy that we have, the sensitive nature, the river of tears. Where are the carers who cry and pray for us within mental health, because if you cannot cry with us you cannot connect with us, and I want to be understood and helped away from acting in borderline rage.
If you have the skills to help someone with borderline rage and splitting, damn well help them. P L E A S E. Why else did you learn your therapy? Go beyond your jurisdiction to help those who lack the capacity to have a normal functioning brain, medication or no medication.
Apologies about all of the swear words. It’s extremely frustrating living with the overactive amygdala and its fear and then the impaired pre-frontal cortex that has no logical reasoning, only extreme panic, borderline rage, and impulsiveness, and tons of tears.
I actually recorded myself after a splitting episode, which resulted in borderline rage and now it’s evidenced to my MP and the NHS, perhaps someone will take my symptoms seriously. I am not manipulative or an attention-seeker, it’s deeply embarrassing and shameful to realise how I act afterwards. My husband says I an completely uncharacteristic at how angry I get. Sometimes my young daughter sees me and it upsets her. I don’t want to act in these ways. I need help. I accept that. Please, NHS if you are reading this – my condition is chronic and it’s growing worse. Help me, and help others who are suffering. At least we are reaching out and trying, instead of burying our heads in the sand and accepting that our ‘reactions’ are part of us. I am not a psycho, I am deeply sensitive, yet in borderline rage or splitting, my behaviour borders on psychotic.
