splitting

Splitting is a term used in Borderline Personality Disorder. I’ve only recently received a diagnosis of Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder, or BPD, as it was previously called by the National Institute For Health And Care Excellence (NICE). One of my recurring issues during periods of crisis is something called splitting. This has caused incredible harm with my partner, and he’s actually afraid of me because he doesn’t know how I am from one day toCONTINUE READING…

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psalm 23

I’ve recently received a diagnosis of Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder, which I knew even before I received the diagnosis from plenty of reading. To be honest, I wanted the diagnosis more for the people in my life, as as least my behaviour was related to a mental disorder. Anyhow, it seems that people with EUPD, or BPD have an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, which relates to reasoning during triggers. For ten years, I’ve had no ideaCONTINUE READING…

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umderstanding

Is there understanding from your friends and family when you describe your behaviour because of borderline personality disorder? Until I picked up that short five page mental disorders booklet in Heywood, I had never ever considered that I might have borderline personality disorder, until I read its symptoms — instability in relationships, fear of rejection / abandonment, suicidal thoughts, self-harming behaviour, paranoia etc. The GP had just said I had major depressive disorder back in 2016 afterCONTINUE READING…

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skin condition

The following text is the copyright of The Recovery Village. The aim is to raise awareness of dermatillomania, or compulsive skin picking, and to dispel the common myths that often arise Myth #3: Dermatillomania is caused by an underlying skin condition. Fact: Skin picking results in skin damage, but is not itself caused by any skin abnormalities. Skin picking disorder is psychological impulse control and obsessive-compulsive disorder where the individual picks at normal skin. TheyCONTINUE READING…

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dark thoughts

It hasn’t been a good day today. I woke up sobbing, then went into prayer and read the bible. I asked God to use this vessel of a body for His glory, tried to surrender my life but said to God that I don’t know how this looks. I’ve met really horrible Christians in my time who no doubt think that they are no longer sinning, because I was struggling with the skin picking, orCONTINUE READING…

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self harm disorder

Part 2 of the 8 part myths about skin picking disorder blog posts, with the copyright of the text at therecoveryvillage.com. Myth #2: Excoriation is a type of self-harm. Fact: While compulsive skin picking is harmful to the picker, it is not a self-harm disorder. Self-harm, officially known as “non-suicidal self-injury” (NSSI), is a psychological disorder where affected individuals deliberately inflict destruction on their own body tissue. They usually do this by biting, cutting, scratchingCONTINUE READING…

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skin picking disorder myth 1

I found this helpful article on therecoveryvillage.com, so I’m going to include this in eight separate posts. Text taken from https://www.therecoveryvillage.com Myth #1: Skin picking is just a bad habit. Fact: Skin picking is a disorder that has known genetic, anatomical, physiological and environmental causes. Recent research has demonstrated that compulsive skin picking appears to be related to anatomical changes in the brain. Specifically, changes in the thickness of the brain cortex in the parietalCONTINUE READING…

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thoughts of suicide

I am glad I am alive. I have Almighty God my creator to thank for that. However, there are desperate days when I have thoughts of suicide. The overwhelming feelings can cloud any lucidity and I often end up crying in desperation looking for a way to end these feelings of loneliness, desperation, self-hate etc. I don’t want to hurt anyone I really don’t. And I don’t act this way to manipulate, because the LordCONTINUE READING…

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paranoia

Paranoia is a horrible trait within mental illness. It is cruel to feel scared of people, family, and society in general, but these are the thoughts that come with Borderline. Occasionally I get the thought that a car is going to pull out a gun and shoot me, while I’m out walking, or that a random person will stab me. I get so afraid of human beings, at times. I’m afraid to look someone inCONTINUE READING…

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what does borderline personality disorder look like

As I said in my previous blog post, I have no official diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but I’ve watched videos of its traits and believe that I meet 8 of its 9 common traits. My doctor just thinks I have depression, but I know it is far deeper than just depression because of the way I act. Here is an example. I was at my partner’s house and had just woken up. A plumberCONTINUE READING…

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